realized something today. made me think. i'm just too bloody kind-hearted. well, to a certain things to be precise. there is one thing that i can never say no to. i always ended up making excuses and asking to give me time, sometimes during that period of "giving me time" time, a new feelings develop and a no became a yes. but sometimes a no is a no. avoidance is the path i chose if that's the case.

well, since i'm free and bored now. let me just talk-talk about stuff. lol. well i'm really not an open-minded person. so feel lucky that you get to read and know a little bit more about me.

i wonder why some people had no trouble saying No? i had trouble saying it. like example during art lesson, i've always been the one bringing colour pencils in my group.(excluding diyanah) then they ask me to lend them. couldn't say no so i just smile. at the end of the lesson one colour pencil went missing. 2nd time, another colour pencil went missing. angry was i. then recently i told them that i wont lend them anymore. they say "please.please. just lend me yellow and red" ,"please la" and "please leh" then one of them just like take my colour pencil and say "lend eh" i said no but he ignored. and one by one they all took it. i just stay still and look down. furious and sad i was. they saw that i didn't look happy, but just ignored. i almost broke down. at last i just ignored them put on a fake smile and do my work. they're taking advantage of me! ok relax.

i've had tons of unsolved issues/problems. i dont talk or share my problems with anyone. i kept it to myself and remained silent about it. its not healthy to keep all the troubles and bundled it up inside i know. one day eventually i will explode. but till that they comes, i'll just wait then. wow, it rare to see me posting so much details and talking stuffs like this. it may be the last or not. so anyway. i think i've talk enough. yeah.