ive not been updating my blog as often ey?
well, reason is simple. i've moved.
Muahahahah
relink okay. ^^

but this blog of mine would still exist.

* * *

i'm slowly learning to accept reality. and i'm patiently waiting for a proper goodbye. i thought i was strong. i thought i can handle it. but when i saw whats on your phone, fuck immediate turn off. we'll just see how okay?

grr.

SIAL JEK.

Boy has a Girlfriend.
Boy fights with Girlfriend a lot.
But Boy still seem to love Girlfriend?
Then Boy meets new Girl.
Who's nice, easy to talk to, seem to be able to click and all!
Boy starts to enjoy being with Girl cause i believe it's a form of relieve for Boy.
Boy also starts to go out behind Girlfriend's back with Girl.
Girl layans Boy, eventhough she is aware that Boy has a Girlfriend.
Boy LIKE UH!
Girl layan Boy what!
Boy happy uh, get more excited and layan Girl more.

Then of course this is the happily ever after part.

Girl falls for Boy.
Boy obviously falls for Girl already.
Boy feels he doesn't love Girlfriend anymore.
Boy starts to pick a major fight with Girlfriend.
Girlfriend pleads Boy to stay because she loves him. yadayadayada.
Boy leaves Girlfriend and end their relationship.
Boy ends up with Girl?

imagine, that shirt is from longlong ago back when i was young.
mom didnt have the heart to throw it away.

i'm so lazy to buy school books later on. pfft.

knowing nothing about someones past. its hard.
i've got incomplete stories. which makes things harder.
hmmm.

i shall no longer hide.

its been awhile since i've really done something for someones birthday. two hours to complete that short comic. you better appreciate it afifi.

anyways, happy 17th birthday!
:D

* * *

i'm super pissed off. she almost made me teared. infact i did. patiently waiting. there's a limit to ones patience. and in the end, i didn't even get to send what i did on time. my hardwork to send on the dot. i am sorry. tsk. and i am deeply disappointed with myself.

:(

tell me you didn't mean what you said.

Jang Geun Suk is hot. You're Beautiful, very addictive korean drama to someone like me. hehe.

saranghaeyo. ^^

meltsss.

being sad
with the right people
is better than being happy
with the wrong ones.

smiles are free true enough?

when the one you love says,
"i'll love you forever.."

just smile and say,
"warn me when forever starts to end.."

get the message?

Dong Ho <333 meltss.

parents good mood. what's the occassion huh? haha.
gonna be fucking fat i know. huhu.
wanna join us?

any minute now.
ding dong.
:D

happy fool.
<3

i'm dedicating this post to lan star:
finally dah kahwin pe kak?! fuh. dah maju ah lu. boleh last long tak? eh mesti boleh punya. wa caya sama lu. haha. kk sayang kau. biar satu dunia tahu k.

hehehe.
:P

can you feel my heartbeat?

its like my heart is going to go popped!
gosh.

Shin Dong Ho. melts.
he's 15 yo. ^^

have your heart ever beat so fast after receiving a message from someone?
no matter what you do [play games etc.] your heart still can't seem to slow down.
then your heart jumped again, more vigourously this time round.
the reply.

exercise in wee hours.
good for health.
i need aircon.
shh.

when you're inside a train and a not so good looking guy keeps hinting on you, here's a tip from herlina:

"buat bodoh je. kau step tido pastu kau bukak mulut kasi air ludah meleleh. nanti die tengok kau burok so die tak tengok kau lagi."
[translation ask someone else]

cb kau buat aku ketawe sendiri macam budak belo.
kelakar ah kau.

its time for me to get comfortable with melon on my bed now.
nights.

ah lovely lovely day with lovely lovely people. its been ages since we all went out. lovely lovely friends they are. and lovely lovely time. with lovely lovely ice blast to fill up the day. lovely lovely person i met in the end.

believe me when i say those two big NO.

ice blast is sexy.
^^

k fine i go sleep now.

and my eyes is not behaving well lately. suffered during practices. torture!

kanchiong to finish up my report. and i'm done! herlina fuckingly need to improve on her english. i can't stand reading her's. can die. anyway, band practices had been fun this few days. non-stop laughters with daddy and his trumpies around. herlina forever make me wanna cry. sakit perut man!

k bla.

The most memorable people in your life will be the people who loved you when you weren’t very lovable.

FUNNY

hmm. i wonder.
i really wonder how love works. to say you love someone one minute, and then love another the next. and then you began to wonder whats all that, that is said before. you wonder if its real. to love someone else but still holds the past? to love another a second after saying goodbye. this just shows that the love is weak. or there wasnt any love to begin with. its just feelings.

i'm not pin-pointing to anyone.
so jangan terase.

i dont have any more semangat to blog. everything is so wrong lately. i dont even have semangat to live. kan dah jadi emo. tsk. k dah chill uh. just had a chat with huda. and what she said is true. hmm.

i cant really make any decisions now, lets just wait for thirteen more days.

sore eye. damn irrits. went out with herlina to find this shop at bras basah. what an old place. and tootz i need cash. like a lot of cash. is there any way i can buy cash?

-_-

2012 was awesomez! i know baru sekarang pe nak tengok? sorry ah orang lambat. haha. the movie was so hardcore man. scary shiat. and i had to comment on this. why the hell would someone bring a kid to watch 2012? like as if they understand?! they make noise and disturb the peace ade uh. tsk. irritating kids.

good that you finally chose to move on.
staying was not an option for you pakcik.
[putting this shit on my blog? this is not shit. i'm a mother-fucking shiat who hurt people. why? got a problem? it just make it clearer that you have made a right decision and you're wrong about me.]

and i'm still sad. :(

It’s still best to wait for the right person, because life’s too short to waste on the wrong one.

I was really sad about it for a while. The worst kind of sad too, the kind where you know, deep down, that there’s nothing you can do even though you wish you could.

:(

I bet it makes you laugh, watching me work so hard to reach you. You never gave a damn about all the things that I did to please you.

i am so exhausted.

well there's a first for everything right? i've tried two new things. and sorry herlina didnt send you home. :( labrador with families after that. seeing people fish make me sad. :( almost everything now make me sad. :(

i feel like walking. walking non-stop. walking away from here. walking far away from here. walking far far away from here. to never look back. to never stop and think. to just keep on going till i feel ok.

i am sad. i am very very sad. big sigh. :(
huge sigh. :(

rise and shine people. the birds are chirping. the sun is rising. and i'm all set to partayy! [?] k chillax nazrynn. pagi2 bute dah gila. ape steam ni? well, i have not slept yet since yesterday. i dont know why, i just couldnt sleep. maybe because i was waiting for something. k - shh. yadayadayada.

stay or go? you decide.

everything about you is perfect to my eyes.
that is why i love you.

i need answers to live.
sigh.

woke up at 4pm. i still walk like old women.

Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, give someone, do for someone - it will never be enough. And you have to decide if it’s worth it to keep throwing your heart at their feet, so that they can walk all over it one more time.

i dont know what to do now.
help me please.

happy birthday pakcik!
dah tua, stop being childish. dah diam ah.
;P

problems walking currently.

being the program officer is tooots leceh. i'm a key princess [ehk? princess? oh tak eh? hehh]. up and down up and down opening and locking doors. fuh. working alone is scary. especially when you need to open doors to an empty classroom all alone at night. i love you herlina. bbq was awesomez. its hard to eat my satay, especially when people kept calling me to open more doors. fuk. and then when i came back, its all gone. sobs.

slept around 4am [eating bbq chickens at night?], which explains why i am so god dammit fucking tired and sleepy now. will definitely sleeping like there's tomorrow later on. case bomb meletup tak bangunnye.

k dah. selamat tinggal.
go, barang baru dah tunggu.

painsss.

sayonara people.
better miss me a lot.
;D

how sweet is the husband. hrr.

my eyes, my body still has not gotten its rest since i dont know when. i've been watching movies after movies. gosh i need a break. but noooo, i've got camp tomorrow. no resting for sure. i've yet to pack my stuffs. and there's stuffs that needs to bought. huge sigh.

i better run along now.

just finish watching wizards of the waverly place the movie. cool movie man. and fuck i find david henrie hot! whoo. meltsssss. what a brother sisterly love. so cute and touching. make me cry.

hotsss.

and here i am still awake munching down my wiggles choco-coated mocha mallows. stuck with fb games while waiting for new moon to finish loading. what?! sigh. the temptation is too overwhelming i could not take it. boohoo. what a failure.

upin dan ipin. gosh they are so adorable. oh my god nazrynn. baru sekarang want to watch their show? ketinggalan zaman i know. heh.

don't you think my hair has grown?!

and so i happily went to jurong point to buy my wiggles choco-coated mallows. skipping like some kid whose on the way to buy ice-creams downstairs. but! jeng jeng jeng. they are out of wiggles choco-coated mallows! i feel like stomping the ground and cry out loud till they re-stock my wiggles choco-coated mallows. in the end i went home with wiggles choco-coated mocha mallows, sushi's, two packets of hokkien mee, slurpee and a cookie.

satisfied? not really.

now that i have my oxygen, i want to go buy my wiggles choco-coated mallows. i will ask mama money for three packets of wiggles choco-coated mallows. whoo. and perhaps i shall ask mama if she wants me to buy any groceries too. feelingfeeling good girl today. hey! i'm always good girl k. yeahhhh righttt. well who asked you. wtf?

lets go G O go.

happiness in the wee hours.
how awesome.
;)

delicious hair.

sometimes little kids can be damn irritating you know. with their constant pestering to go to this and that websites. cant they see i'm busy? (with fb games uh. hehe.) but seriously man. nak marah, tak sampai hati pulak kan. so here i am venting my anger on my blog. gooood.

i'm waiting patiently for my hair to grow. grow hair growww. grow quickly please. grow till you reach the floor. grow till i have rapunzel's hair. gosh its taking forever. but hey i'm very patient. kinda.

i need my oxygen yo.
spare me ten bucks anyone? mom? k tmr.
hehehe.

tired. enough of finding blogskins. gave up and end up with the most simplest one. but the colour is whoo. haha. i have yet to eat. hungry one kindnye. i'm addicted to this wiggles choco-coated mallows. niceee. anw, today is the last day of extended term. whoo. like i've ever been to any important lessons. gosh. first few days je semangat. but end up like this. huhu. kay whatever.

i've been playing my trumpet a lot lately. and my lips is damn tired. hardcore exercises for my lips and mouth. good for -. wth sak nazrynn. tsk. eh i never say anything. hehe.

my stomach is screaming now.

damn blogskins. pissed off fuck.

am awake. am still waiting.
tick tock tick tock.

all i need is an answer.

i'm very sad.

finally i did something in school. went for dnt lesson only which is after recess. skipped the rest of the lesson as always. why must school start so early? completed that stickman[?] ontop ^^ in less than an hour. maybe more uh. it may look simple but its hard work okay! my fingers has prolly grow muscles by all those hardcore cuttings, bending and attaching of tough wires. good job nazrynn. thumbs up.

went to eat at banquet with pe'ah. we can spend hours and hours and hours there. and peachy vanilla is fucking good! i had 2 and a half cups of those man. talking about it just make me drools. yummy yummy yummy. hehehehe. and pe'ah is really an embarrassment. haha. fuh kak, public kak!

k dah la.

i'm practically destroying my eyes now. sitting infront of the laptop in a dark room. and now i wonder, whats it like having the perfect eyesight. i've been using spectacles half of my life already. i totally cant remember what it feels like to look at things without anything blocking your eyes. wearing contacts is good but it doesnt really counts in having those perfect eyesight. blame it all on myself for pushing the sofa directly infront of the tv to watch cartoons 24/7 back in those days. what a mistake. no use crying over spilled milk. and speaking of milk, i've got a secret that i'm finally gonna share. do you know that i stop drinking milk bottles when i was 10 or 11 years old. tsk. dah tua pon still want to drink milk bottles. what do you expect man, the milo my mom made is riched with love.

FINALLYYYY OR WHUAAAT MOM CAME HOME WITH FOOOD!
bloooooddddyyyy hungry from ages agooo. my hungry-ness lead to exaggeration.
jemput makan everyone.
:D

2PM Heartbeat [English Translation]

can you feel my heartbeat

the heart that you stepped all over and left
is still beating. and it's beating for you

no matter how hard i try to forget
no matter how many new people i meet
why do i keep thinking of only you when i turn around
i don't want to do this anymore. i want to stop.
no matter how many times i try and try to stop myself
it's no use. my heart is broken. why

why do i keep doing such foolish things
i know in my head, but why is my heart rebelling
i'm holding on to you and can't let go.
it still feels like you're next to me.
i can't believe in farewell

no matter who i meet, i can't open up one part of my heart and i keep your place empty
there's no reason for you come back, but why do i keep thinking that you might come back
why isn't my heart listening

listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
don't i know that it's over. i don't understand why i'm like this
listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you
it still hurts thinking of you. i think of you every time my heart beats

i have to forget. i have to forget in order to live
i have to erase it. if i don't, i'll die
stop trying to get him back. he ain't coming
he's gone, gotta be moving on
he left. he won't come back. he doesn't think of you.

he doesn't know that i'm waiting for him, he's doing well
he already forgot about me, totally erased me.
why can't i do that

listen to my heartbeat. it's beating for you
listen to my heartbeat. it's waiting for you

my heart is beating faster and faster (x4)

* * * *

fuck the ending. i'm still waiting.
forever and always.

what a day.

Happy Birthday Nasiruddin Abdul Rahim!
alermak, baru nak fourteen pah? well, do continue and be a good boy that you already are. don't be like your sisters. tsk. seriously speaking man, do not be like your sisters. i know you won't. so keep it up boy. and sadded no birthday celebration due to you going to malacca[?] for some ncc trip. but arent i a sweet sister who woke up this morning and wish you happy birthday before you leave.

huhu.

gosh. bad luck day or what? friday the thirteen katekan. today, was kaleidorama. i slept for an hour only. tsk. was almost late for band. thank you for waking me up. anyway, the worst about today is that. trumpet one which is me and james did not bring our concert file! fuh. no wonder i feel as though i've forgotten something when in the bus to singapore poly. yes we panic, duh. but having playing that two songs repeatedly over and over again this few weeks, is a good thing. memorised. so for the two performance, we ksiow ok go play. haha. well, trumpeters. i was freezing throughout the day. the air-con was hardcore! plus it's raining outside. brrrr. i can barely stay awake with the atmosphere like that. with my eyes steaming all the way. damn i need to get some sleep.

zzz. snoreesss.

fuck i'm still awake. its gonna be a long dah later. actual day of kaleidorama at singapore poly. 12 hours of band. fuh. take care ah nazrynn. goodluck uh staying awake. tskk. and i havent even prepare anything. need to find my shoes, iron my band uniforms. lazyy or whuatt!

now i'm hungryyy.
:O

after kaleidorama rehearsal at singapore poly, went home and sleep like babi. i'm so tired. woke up, remembered that i need to buy panty hose for tomorrow. urgh. so text herlina and siap. rollerbladed to gekpoh. went exploring after that too. we discovered many sunyi places. and herlina, neck red nampak! dah maju ah kak. cis. haha.

tirinnngggg.
D:

went beach road yesterday. brought the sec ones to buy their marching shoes. reminds me of the old times when my senior brought me there. haha. good old times. anyway, sorry guys we were an hour late. typical girls. huhu. went vivo after that while the sec ones went home. while talking about guys and their goatie, herlina said "why guys cannot keep their pubic hair?" referring to when in school. HAHA. facial hair become pubic pe! baik punya. totally herlina.

i eat three ice-creams today!
whooooooo.

great day.
tired!

i still can't decide whether i should go ahead and rot in school or watch tv. currently they are having shidah lesson. hahahahaha. sape mau layan kan. and then later will be design and technology. which, i have no mood for now. so after saying all that, i've made my mind of not going. good one nazrynn. i feel as though its been ages since i actually studied. last was during the exam period. bad memories. hardcore man. although i did not study much, but those last minute studying sucks. tahu takpe. but oh well. tomorrow will be kaleidorama rehearsal. then friday will be the actual thang. no school! huhu.

i've not been sleeping lately. gila donkey. how to change this bad habit? k whatever. now, i'm hungry. my stomach had been grumbling from hours ago. its time to feed myself and my baby. ehk?

foooood.

and i chose to cleanse my emails.
spick and span!
whoo.

i cant sleep. as you can see, i'm still lying on my bed surfing the net. baik pa! padahal i've got school later. enough about school. i've not been going to extended term. i've never once been early for it. i really cannot concentrate now. dah holiday buat hal holiday uh. tsk. i'm gonna regret all this. but, berani buat berani tanggung betul tak betul?

for the moment, i chose to remove my tagboard. sorry but it had to be done. tsk. anyway, i've just watched paranormal activity. two thumbs up! hardcore man. well, for me anyway. i don't know about you guys who had watched it. but cool or what the movie. what i mean is, scary of whuatt?

and what do i do now?

"Hey there Nazrynn, what's it like in block 682b? I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do. Orchard Road can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true."

"thousand miles so far sey... u at where? london?"

"haha. no la. im always beside you."

tskk.

freezing yooo toot.

how many times must i blog a day man. haha. well, it does keep my blog alive. do keep coming back readers. hehe. the weather is so cold. fuh syiok. the cold wind is hardcore. i've been actively playing facebook games. i've touched my trumpet a few minutes ago. semangat!

ring ding dong!
:O

hot or whuat?

i'm still here? fine i will go out now.
tskkk.

SEMPAT!

when am i ever going to be early for school. tsk. shakes head. i need motivation to be motivated to go to school man. if i keep going on like this, ape nak jadi. heh.

k off to school now!
huhuhu.

goodnight nazrynn.
sweetest dreams.
;D

bella's laptop webcam is such a loser.

from today, i shall train myself. no more sleeping late. haha. macam paham. but i will try. so no more online till morning starting tonight! good nazrynn. anyway, just now went rollerblading. tried out this macaroni cheese thing at 7-eleven. damn mengenyangkan i tell you. and for once pe'ah didnt fall. thumbs up for you pe'ah!

k go sleep nazrynn!
hehehehe.

fell asleep infront of the laptop. i thought can survive another round of not sleeping. but failed. and i don't intend to die early la huda. belum lagi.. yerla yerla move on la kan. haha. well anyway, my whole body is in pain right now. especially the chest area. must be because of the 24/7 lying down playing laptop. gotta stop this habit. tsk.

and yeah, yesterday went to watch wei yang perform at republic poly. its interesting. so my ten bucks for it is worth it. me and pe'ah is forever rude. noisy during performance. i bet james is embarrassed to be sitting with us. hehe. tskk. perangai baik berubah. damn uncivilised barbarian in the train after that.

later on will be going rollerblading with pe'ah again.
gosh i need to bath now.

i'm focusing on one and only now.

knn. i'm still awake!

see, its morning already. i'm still here. gila donkey.

another sleepless night. i am sorry eyes for keeping u open for 24/7. i had enough sleep already. jangan nanti petang tido mati again and miss weiyang performance sudah. 10 bucks go down the drain just like that. what is happening to you my dear nazrynn? tsk.

suddenly, i remembered something. few years back, i hated smokers. i fucking got bloody hell issues with them man. the smell is %&$#@! with confident plastered all over my face i said to bella "i will never in my life smoke." bloody hell besar punya macam paham la nazrynn! haha. cis.

i can't, i guess i'm staying now and forever.
:/

I'M WIDE AWAKE.

gosh. went to school for one freaking hour only. i know might as well don't come. i can barely open my eyes for that one hour. reach home, sleep like babi. cannot tahan. woke up, realised it was already six! james POP starts at 6.15pm yo! 45 missed calls. sorry ah phone silent mode. herlina said nazrynn mati. haha. cause she even went to my house and press the bell and kick the door non-stop like mad woman. and this made me realised when i sleep, bomb meletup kat sebelah pon i would still be soundly asleep. perangai herlina sak. bathed and went meet them at newton stn. my first meal of the day at kfc. my stomach is growling like mad dog since morning.

me and pe'ah walk around town while the rest went home. as always, gila babi punya bestfriend. we smiled all the way at everyone. and hey, smiling all the way is not as easy as it sounds. cramp. herlina got good luck. a bird just shitted on her tights. gross! she and her thick skin face ask a business man for tissues. pe'ah also obscenely open her bra strap in the bus because one side came off. gosh. my laughing box burst today.

what a day.

diam la nazrynn, you've said enough! >:(

well well well. look at the time. i'm still wide awake. i dont intend to sleep tonight. school starts at 7.30am. goodluck nazrynn. this alone time can kill me. here i am sitting infront of the computer. i hate it. my mind goes wild. everything seems to be entering my mind one by one. good/bad memories. quiet surrounding is good. but evil. hiya.

when you look at a picture of young kid till he's a teen, you'll go. omg you've grown so big! look at those arms and legs. what the hell am i trying to say here? hmm. people change. people like me and you. its up to us whether we want to adapt to that changes or simply let it go. i've tolerated a whole lot with that change in you. and you get all mad over me changing. one part of me still remain the same that is my love for you. and you do not get it. oh why do i even bother explaining. you just don't get it. huge sigh la kan.

what do i do now kak? sobs.

its been ages since i've worn my specs.

and so i skipped school. perangai herlina sey. and a coincidence herlina too. tsk. our poa remedial lesson, wasted! padahal that was partly meant for us. so stayed home and spend my time on the computer. changed my blogskin. spend hours on it. and it look fairly simple and nice. hehe. and look there's a tagboard. with all those old tags. haha.

can go gila donkey!

another round of rollerblading with pe'ah. went to dee house cause pe'ah wanted a smaller pair of rollerblades. macammacam la her. and bladed all the way back. stop by boon lay kopitiam. ice kacang yumyum. and as always, pe'ah fell on her butt again! kesian sia. padehal there's no slope or rocks or anything.

anything we jiwebesties yer kak.

malu malu tetap kiter ok go je. like what i say, we can do anything as long as we have each other. alamak, touching sey nazrynn. well, nazrynn katekan. hehe.

:D

went queensway with family. again, rush home. went rollerblading with pe'ah. tiring or whuat? met farhan for a moment. and send him home. orang nak motek nazrynn kacau je. sorry ah kak. haha. skate the whole of jurong west. fake je. not whole. pe'ah please eh takmo salah kan rollerblade besar. takde skill terus terang je. heh. and then she fell on her butt. suaysuay depan orang ramai. haha. reached home, she texted me that she fell again on her way home. cute la kau.

i'm in love with blading.

gerek oi. healthy sports yer.

mp.

picnic with dearest families at east coast park. brought rollerblades along. and we rent bikes too. the weather was hot. like myself. cis! haha. bubu is so cute. i want my anak like that. how do i do that? ira still failed in riding bicycle! how to learn when you don't even try dude? and i fell in love with rollerblading. but i'm still a noob at it. i dont even know how to stop. gosh. i fell on my butt while rollerblading. boo. fuh butt cramp dok! i've got the saddest news to tell too. beebib died! her neck was pulled by a monster named darwish razin. grr. beebob will be soo lonely now. big sigh.

went skating/blading with adek after that around the neighbourhood. damn tired. perspiring like mad cow. but syioknya semacam. haha.

ecp. misses.

even bigger sigh.

:(